Un tipo sta guidando la macchina, quando ad un certo punto capisce di essersi perso. Avvista un uomo che passa per la strada, accosta al marciapiede e gli grida:
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[Speak Up]
Three women are about to be executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead and one’s a blonde.
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and so the executioner shouts: “Ready! Aim …”
Suddenly the brunette yells: “Earthquake!!!”
All the people are startled and they throw themselves on the ground: the brunette escapes.
Next the guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts: “Ready! Aim …”
Suddenly the redhead yells: “Tornado!!!”
Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no and the executioner shouts: “Ready! Aim …”
And the blonde yells: “Fire!”
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1. A cosa stai pensando?
2. Mi ami?
3. Ti sembro grassa?
4. Pensi che lei sia più bella di me?
5. Che cosa faresti se io morissi?
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[Speak Up]
Jack and Betty are celebrating theu 50th wedding anniversary.
“Betty, I was wondering: have you ever cheated on me?”
“Oh, Jack, why would you ask such a question now?”
“Please, Betty, I really want to know”.
“Well, all right. Yes, three times”.
“Three? When were they?”
“Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?”
“Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever! So, when was number 2?”
“Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. Edwards suddenly decided to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?”
“I can’t believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn’t have a more wonderful wife. You must really love me, darling! I couldn’t be more moved. When was number 3?”
“Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?”
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[Speak Up]
A scientist gets on a train to New York. His cabin also has a poor farmer in it. To pass the time, the scientist decides to play a game: “I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong, you have to pay me one dollar. Then you ask me a question, and if I get it wrong, you get ten dollars. You ask me a question first”. The farmer thinks for a while: “I know. What has three legs, takes ten hours to climb up a palm tree, and ten seconds to get back down?” The scientist thinks long and hard about the question. Finally, the train ride is coming to an end. As it pulls into the station, the scientist takes out ten dollars and gives it to the farmer: “I don’t know. What has three legs, takes ten hours to get up a palm tree and ten seconds to get back down?” The farmer takes the ten dollars and puts it into his pocket. He then takes out one dollar and hands it to the scientist: “I don’t know!”.
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Ecco tre lezioni fornite da grandi aziende che ci potrebbero aiutare a sopravvivere ai cambiamenti
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[Speak Up]
A young Army officer joins a new regiment. Social life in the regiment revolves around “the officers’ mess” and when the young man goes there for the first time, a senior officer kindly offers to explain how things work:
“Well”, says the senior officer, “If you like drinking, you’ll certainly enjoy Monday. Every Monday evening we receive a large supply of wine, beer and whisky and we get completely smashed, it’s marvellous. Do you enjoy a drink?”
?I’m afraid I don’t drink, actually”, says the young officer.
After an embarrased silence, the senior officer says: “Oh, well, not to worry. You’ll probably enjoy Tuesday. Every Tuesday evening we receive a large supply of unbelievably beautiful women. They come here to the mess and we have the wildest time. It’s absolutely marvellous. I take it that you like women?”
“Er, well, not particularly”, replies the young officer.
After an even more embarassed silence, the senior officer says: “I say, you’re not gay, are you, by any chance?”
“Oh, good Lord, no!” says the young officer.
“Ah, well in that case”, says the senior officer, “you won’t enjoy Wednesday either!”
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COPENAGHEN. Compiono 50 anni i celebri mattoncini colorati della Lego che hanno divertito i bambini e gli adulti di due generazioni in tutto il mondo. Il brevetto del celebre mattoncino di plastica fu depositato proprio il 28 gennaio del 1958 da Godtfred Kirk Christensen, figlio del fondatore dell’azienda familiare, il falegname Ole Kirk Kristiansen, che nel 1932 l’aveva messa su a Billund, nella penisola denese dello Jutland, per fabbricare giocattoli di legno.
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