Exam Answers

Notizia del: October 15th, 2008

Le seguenti domande sono state fatte ai GCSE exams (General Certificate of Secondary Education) in Inghilterra. Ecco alcune risposte date dagli studenti sedicenni.

QUESTION: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
ANSWER: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

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Nuovo divertimeno al luna park.

Notizia del: July 23rd, 2008

luna park

Impazza il gioco della sedia elettrica

Giù il gettone e la morte si vede in diretta. Succede in un luna park di Milano (in zona Idroscalo) dove una delle principali attrazioni è un manichino seduto su una sedia elettrica.

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Dinamiche aziendali.

Notizia del: June 9th, 2008

impiegato

Un tipo sta guidando la macchina, quando ad un certo punto capisce di essersi perso. Avvista un uomo che passa per la strada, accosta al marciapiede e gli grida:

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A Blonde Joke.

Notizia del: June 2nd, 2008

[Speak Up]

Three women are about to be executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead and one’s a blonde.
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and so the executioner shouts: “Ready! Aim …”
Suddenly the brunette yells: “Earthquake!!!”
All the people are startled and they throw themselves on the ground: the brunette escapes.
Next the guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts: “Ready! Aim …”
Suddenly the redhead yells: “Tornado!!!”
Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no and the executioner shouts: “Ready! Aim …”
And the blonde yells: “Fire!”


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Le 5 domande più temute dagli uomini.

Notizia del: May 31st, 2008

punto interrogativo

1. A cosa stai pensando?
2. Mi ami?
3. Ti sembro grassa?
4. Pensi che lei sia più bella di me?
5. Che cosa faresti se io morissi?

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Happy Anniversary!

Notizia del: April 22nd, 2008

[Speak Up]

Jack and Betty are celebrating theu 50th wedding anniversary.
“Betty, I was wondering: have you ever cheated on me?”
“Oh, Jack, why would you ask such a question now?”
“Please, Betty, I really want to know”.
“Well, all right. Yes, three times”.
“Three? When were they?”
“Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?”
“Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever! So, when was number 2?”
“Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. Edwards suddenly decided to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?”
“I can’t believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn’t have a more wonderful wife. You must really love me, darling! I couldn’t be more moved. When was number 3?”
“Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?”


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On A Train

Notizia del: March 25th, 2008

[Speak Up]

A scientist gets on a train to New York. His cabin also has a poor farmer in it. To pass the time, the scientist decides to play a game: “I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong, you have to pay me one dollar. Then you ask me a question, and if I get it wrong, you get ten dollars. You ask me a question first”. The farmer thinks for a while: “I know. What has three legs, takes ten hours to climb up a palm tree, and ten seconds to get back down?” The scientist thinks long and hard about the question. Finally, the train ride is coming to an end. As it pulls into the station, the scientist takes out ten dollars and gives it to the farmer: “I don’t know. What has three legs, takes ten hours to get up a palm tree and ten seconds to get back down?” The farmer takes the ten dollars and puts it into his pocket. He then takes out one dollar and hands it to the scientist: “I don’t know!”.


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Lezioni di vita.

Notizia del: March 21st, 2008

Ecco tre lezioni fornite da grandi aziende che ci potrebbero aiutare a sopravvivere ai cambiamenti :-D

Lezione 1

Un corvo era appollaiato su di un albero, nullafacente.
Un coniglio lo vide e gli chiese: “Posso stare anch’io come te a non far nulla tutto il giorno?”
Il corvo rispose: “Certo, perchè no?”
Così il coniglio si mise a sedere sotto l’albero ed iniziò ad oziare.
All’improvviso apparve una volpe, si avventò sul coniglio e lo divorò.
La morale della storia è che per startene seduto e non fare nulla, devi stare seduto molto, molto in alto!

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